Sex In The Valley

Beer Tears.

Posted on: April 24, 2011

Don’t act like you’ve never done it. Every has, everyone will: it’s inevitable. There are some ways to deal with it though without it ruining your entire night, you just have to know how to read the situation.
Scenario One: Your friend is a crier.
Everyone has a friend that’s a crier, I myself am that friend, and trust me I know it gets old. First of all you have to remember nobody likes being the crier and reminding this poor girl she is crying will just make her cry more. Let her vent, talk shit with her about whatever douche bag called her something witty like “slut” and just let her get it off her chest. Listen, I know it doesn’t take much to set these criers off, but I myself only cry when I’m on the verge of blacking out and at the time whatever is affecting means a lot. Don’t tell her she’s being dumb, don’t defend the other person. The quicker she gets out everything she needs the quicker you get to go do some more keg stands. Also don’t enable, don’t let her branch from the actual reason she’s upset or it’ll end up ruining everyone’s night. All any drunk crying girl wants is to hear she’s not crazy.. she’ll realize the next day she really is nuts, but let her figure that out for herself. Don’t judge her the next day either. If she remembers trust me she already feels stupid. She’ll obsess about being “that girl” a lot longer than you’ll be able to taunt her about it.

Scenario Two: Your friend never cries
This situation is a lot more delicate. First of all if your friend that never cries is crying you know some kind of shit hit the fan. Second of all you need to just get her home or somewhere quiet because you aren’t going to be able to console her and two she’s not going to want anyone to see her. Chances are this friend doesn’t show much emotion and will let everything build up until just once she gets drunk enough to let it all out. That’s what she needs too. Yes, this is a night ender, but she’s your girl so you’ll forgive her for royally cock blocking you. Let her get everything out. She may just start spouting off nonsense or she may just sit quietly and sob, either way let her do it. Be reassuring tell her everything will eventually get better but don’t belittle what she’s saying. She needs this, and the next day when she tries to laugh it off and say she doesn’t even know why she would act like that just remind her it’s ok that i happened and if she let herself show her emotions a little more she wouldn’t have such major meltdowns every few months.

Scenario Three: The fake crier
This bitch is just annoying – let’s be honest. She’s doing it for attention. Don’t play in to it. Let her be pissed, let someone else deal with her because you know and she knows there is no reason for this kind of behavior. I’m sorry billy/bobby/jack or whatever her flavor of the week didn’t text her back, but she doesn’t really care either she just needs to feel like someone will take care of her. DO NOT feed this ego. She just wants to bitch about pointless shit. Enjoy your night, she’ll stop when she realizes it’s not going to get her anywhere until then there’s on less person drinking and that means more to drink for you.

Girls will be girls right?

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